cAtMaScAroLs


 

We Three Cats of Orient Are
(sung to: We Three Kings of Orient Are)

~

We three cats of Orient are
Terrified to get in the car
Why go out for celebrating?
We'll stay right where we are, Oooh...

CHORUS

Home is heaven. Home is good.
Home is where we get our food.
Why go out for Christmas parties?
Frankly we're not in the mood.

~

We're not happy with a trip yet.
Seems they always end at the vet.
These excursions are diversions
We'd just as soon forget. Oooh...

(Repeat Chorus)

We three cats are Siamese,
Himalayan, and Tonkinese.
Bring us gifts of meat with gravy
And mild kinds of cheese. Oooh...

(Repeat Chorus)

Oh, Catmas Tree
(sung to: O' Tannenbaum)

~

Oh, Catmas Tree!
Oh, Catmas Tree!
Your ornaments shine temptingly.
I want to whack them with my paw,
And grab them when they hit the floor.
Oh, Catmas Tree!
Oh, Catmas Tree!
Your ornaments shine temptingly.

Awake In a Cat Bed
(sung to: Away In a Manger)

~

Awake in a cat bed,
She can't go to sleep.
She's thinking of cat toys
That she'd like to keep.
She's seen them in catalogs
And on TV,
And she's left her Christmas list
Pinned to the tree.

A catnip-filled heart and
A long piece of string,
A large kitty condo
With everything.
Cat videotapes and
A brush for her fur,
She's hoping that Santa
Will bring these for her.

The First Meow
(sung to: The First Noel)

~

The first meow,
The angels did say,
Was to certain white Persians
On rugs where they lay,
On rugs where they
Lay trying to sleep,
Having dreams about cat life
That were so deep.
Meow, meow, meow, meow.
They'll get to do what they want, somehow.
Meow, meow, meow, meow.
They'll get to do what they want, somehow.

Wreck The Halls
(sung to: Deck The Halls)

~

Wreck the halls with two cats running,
Fa-la-la-la-la...la-la-la.
Fur goes flying, lamps get done in,
Fa-la-la-la-la...la-la-la.
Tumbling swiftly down the stairway,
Fa-la-la, la-la-la, la,la,la.
Woe to those who get in their way,
Fa-la-la-la-la...la-la-la.

I Saw Three Cats
(sung to: I Saw Three Ships)

~

I saw three cats prance merrily
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
I saw three cats prance merrily
On Christmas Day, in the morning.

They played a game of hide-and-seek
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
They played a game of hide-and-seek
On Christmas Day, in the morning.

And rolled around on the floor with glee
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
And rolled around on the floor with glee
On Christmas Day, in the morning.

Greta, Max, and Penelope
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
Greta, Max, and Penelope
On Christmas Day, in the morning.

To watch them, brings such joy to me
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day,
To watch them, brings such joy to me
On Christmas Day, in the morning.

Oh, Come All Ye Furful
(sung to: Oh, Come All Ye Faithful)

~

Oh, come all ye furful,
Hungry and well-rested,
Oh, come ye, oh, come ye to
The master bedroom.
Come and behold them
Snoring loudly 'neath the sheets,
For now it's time to wake them,
For now it's time to wake them,
For now it's time to wake them
On this christmas morn.

Meow, choirs of felines,
Meow in expectation
Meow till you get your Mom
And Dad out of bed.
Glory to food
In the cat dish.
Oh, come let us enjoy it.
Oh, come let us enjoy it.
Oh, come let us enjoy it,
Breakfast at last!

Good Cats In The House
(sung to: Good King Wenceslas)

~

Good cats in the house are bad
When their Mom's not looking,
Stick their noses everywhere
Just to see what's cooking.
When their claws need polishing,
Shred the couch and love seat.
They don't heed admonishing,
But their misdeeds repeat!

Good cats in the house are sad
When they feel neglected.
They will yowl without respite
Or act cool and affected.
Special love at christmastime
Is what they require,
That we pet them ceaselessly,
Their good looks to admire!

Hallelujah Pour Us
(sung to: Hallelujah Chorus)

~

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
The food bag is tilted. Hallelujah!

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Food cascading, coming towards us, Hallelujah!

Is it Purina Chow? Perhaps Meow Mix?
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Alpo or Friskies? All have their taste kicks.
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

And we shall eat forever and ever.
And we shall eat forever and ever.

Hail, Nine Lives,
Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
And Happy Cat.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Whiskas jives

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
With my habitat.

Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

It Came Upon a Midnight Cat
(sung to: It Came Upon a Midnight Clear)

~

It came upon a midnight cat
Whose fur was black and bold,
As he sat under the carport in
December though it was cold,
That he was lord of his backyard.
The neighborhood cats agree,
For, when he hisses, they turn and leave
His yard immediately.

~

Collar Bells
(sung to: Jingle Bells)

CHORUS

Collar bells, collar bells,
Ringing 'round the block,
Christmas Eve is party time,
And we cats like to rock.
Collar bells, collar bells,
Ringing 'round the block,
Christmas Eve is party time,
We're counting down the clock.

~

We wait out on the porch
And sing amewsing songs.
We know that Santa Claws
Will be here before long.
The chimney has been swept
To ease his passage down.
We'll entertain the reindeer
While he puts the presents 'round. Ohhhh,

(Repeat CHORUS)

Our families are asleep,
But not we watchful cats.
While waiting we engage
In elementary spats,
Deciding who'll be boss
And shake ol' Santa's hand.
This holiday excitement's
Almost more than we can stand. Ohhhh,

(Repeat CHORUS)

Bark! The Neighbors Dogs Will Sound
(sung to: Hark! The Herald Angels Sing)

~

Bark! The neighbors' dogs will sound
When they see us spin around.
They can really make it hard
For cats to play in the yard.

Canine cousins are a puzzle.
Santa, please bring each a muzzle.
We can't wait for the time when
Silent nights are here again.

Bark! The neighbors' dogs will sound.
May Christmas peace and love abound!

Insistant Cats, Rejoice
(sung to: Good christian Men, Rejoice)

~

Insistent cats, rejoice
With rubs and purrs and voice.
It's time to cuddle close
With those you love the most.
Jump on laps and sideways lie.
Stretch your paws out
Towards the sky.
Petting is such bliss.
You were born for this.

O! Little Town of Cat Mayhem
(sung to: O! Little Town of Bethlehem)

~

O! Little town of cat mayhem,
What mischiefs among you lie?
The look angelic in their sleep,
But there's nothing they won't try.
And in the dark night shineth
Alert, translucent eyes
As they attack the Christmas stockings
Carrying off the prize.

Carol Of The Smells
(sung to: Carol of the Bells)

~

Hark! How the smells,
Sweet Christmas smells,
All seem to say
"It's a buffet."
Hot food and cold
For young and old,
Never have we
sniffed with such glee,
Platters and bowls,
Meatballs and molds.
Big jumbo shrimp
Make me an imp.
Cheese canapes
And bouillabaisse,
Eggnog to drink,
We're on the brink!
Tabletop heights
Filled with delights,
Though they're so high,
We have to try.

Jump on the counter!
Jump on the table!
We'll pounce wherever
Our paws are able.

Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!
Merry, merry, merry, merry christmas!

Scents that are there
Waft through the air,
Leading us to
Morsels to chew. Meow.

Meow, meow, meow, meow,
... (hiccup!) ....meow.

Oh, Hold Me Right
(sung to: O' Holy Night)

~

Oh, hold me right.
Your grasp has got me keeling.
It's whine and squirm time
When you pick me up.
Long have I tried
To let you know my feeling,
That when you lift me,
My life you disrupt!

I'd rather trot
And go about my business.
The grip you've got's
Not popular with me.

Put me down, please.
I need to see the turkey.
Oh, sight divine,
Even though I'm now airborne.
Oh, sight divine!
Let me go! This bird is mine!

God Rest Ye Merry, Kitty Cats
(sung to: God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen)

~

God rest ye merry, kitty cats,
Let nothing you dismay.
Remember, lots of yummy food
Is served on Christmas Day,
To save us all from hungry tummies,
Hip, hip, hip hooray!
Ooooh, tidings of catnip and joy,
Catnip and joy.
Ooooh, tidings of catnip and joy.

Joy To Our Cats
(sung to: Joy To The World)

~

Joy to the world,
'Cause cats are here.
They fill all hearts with love.
Let everyone prepare them food.
And let them eat their fill,
And let them eat their fill,
And let, and let them
Eat their fill.

Go, Smell It At The Fountains
(sung to: Go, Tell It on The Mountains)

~

When I was a kitten,
my Mama mewed to me,
"You'll have to find your food yourself
when there's no other way.
Go, smell it at the fountains,
Out on the docks, in market stalls.
Go, smell it at the fountains.
Our Christmas fish is spawned."

Now I am in charge of
the Christmas feast for cats.
They know that I'm an expert sniff
at finding this and that.
"Go, smell it at the fountains,
Out on the docks, in market stalls.
Go, smell it at the fountains.
Our Christmas fish is spawned."

Laurie Loughlin, Copyright 1993