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"Cursed, cursed creator! Why did I live? Why, in that instant,
did I not extinguish the spark of existence which you had so
wantonly bestowed? I know not; despair had not yet taken
possession of me; my feelings were those of rage and revenge.
I could with pleasure have destroyed the cottage and its
inhabitants, and have glutted myself with their shrieks and misery.
"When night came, I quitted my retreat, and wandered in the
wood; and now, no longer restrained by the fear of discovery,
I gave vent to my anguish in fearful howlings. I was like a
wild beast that had broken the toils; destroying the objects
that obstructed me, and ranging through the wood with a stag
like swiftness. O! what a miserable night I passed! the cold
stars shone in mockery, and the bare trees waved their branches
above me: now and then the sweet voice of a bird burst forth
amidst the universal stillness. All, save I, were at rest or
in enjoyment: I, like the arch-fiend, bore a hell within me;
and, finding myself unsympathised with, wished to tear up the
trees, spread havoc and destruction around me, and then to have
sat down and enjoyed the ruin.
"But this was a luxury of sensation that could not endure; I
became fatigued with excess of bodily exertion, and sank on the
damp grass in the sick impotence of despair. There was none
among the myriads of men that existed who would pity or assist
me; and should I feel kindness towards my enemies? No: from
that moment I declared everlasting war against the species,
and, more than all, against him who had formed me, and sent me
forth to this insupportable misery.
"The sun rose; I heard the voices of men, and knew that it was
impossible to return to my retreat during that day.
Accordingly I hid myself in some thick underwood, determining
to devote the ensuing hours to reflection on my situation.
"The pleasant sunshine, and the pure air of day, restored me to
some degree of tranquillity; and when I considered what had
passed at the cottage, I could not help believing that I had
been too hasty in my conclusions. I had certainly acted
imprudently. It was apparent that my conversation had
interested the father in my behalf, and I was a fool in having
exposed my person to the horror of his children. I ought to
have familiarised the old De Lacey to me, and by degrees to
have discovered myself to the rest of his family, when they
should have been prepared for my approach. But I did not
believe my errors to be irretrievable; and, after much
consideration, I resolved to return to the cottage, seek the
old man, and by my representations win him to my party.
"These thoughts calmed me, and in the afternoon I sank into a
profound sleep; but the fever of my blood did not allow me to
be visited by peaceful dreams. The horrible scene of the
preceding day was for ever acting before my eyes; the females
were flying, and the enraged Felix tearing me from his father's
feet. I awoke exhausted; and, finding that it was already
night, I crept forth from my hiding-place, and went in search
of food.
"When my hunger was appeased, I directed my steps towards the
well known path that conducted to the cottage. All there was
at peace. I crept into my hovel, and remained in silent
expectation of the accustomed hour when the family arose.
That hour passed, the sun mounted high in the heavens, but the
cottagers did not appear. I trembled violently, apprehending
some dreadful misfortune. The inside of the cottage was dark,
and I heard no motion; I cannot describe the agony of this suspense.
"Presently two countrymen passed by; but, pausing near the
cottage, they entered into conversation, using violent
gesticulations; but I did not understand what they said, as
they spoke the language of the country, which differed from
that of my protectors. Soon after, however, Felix approached
with another man: I was surprised, as I knew that he had not
quitted the cottage that morning, and waited anxiously to
discover, from his discourse, the meaning of these unusual
appearances.
"`Do you consider,' said his companion to him, `that you will
be obliged to pay three months' rent, and to lose the produce
of your garden? I do not wish to take any unfair advantage, and
I beg therefore that you will take some days to consider of
your determination.'
"`It is utterly useless,' replied Felix; `we can never again
inhabit your cottage. The life of my father is in the greatest
danger, owing to the dreadful circumstance that I have related.
My wife and my sister will never recover their horror. I entreat
you not to reason with me any more. Take possession of your
tenement, and let me fly from this place.'
"Felix trembled violently as he said this. He and his
companion entered the cottage, in which they remained for a few
minutes, and then departed. I never saw any of the family of
De Lacey more.
"I continued for the remainder of the day in my hovel in a
state of utter and stupid despair. My protectors had departed,
and had broken the only link that held me to the world.
For the first time the feelings of revenge and hatred filled my
bosom, and I did not strive to control them; but, allowing
myself to be borne away by the stream, I bent my mind towards
injury and death. When I thought of my friends, of the mild
voice of De Lacey, the gentle eyes of Agatha, and the exquisite
beauty of the Arabian, these thoughts vanished, and a gush of
tears somewhat soothed me. But again, when I reflected that
they had spurned and deserted me, anger returned, a rage of
anger; and, unable to injure anything human, I turned my
fury towards inanimate objects. As night advanced, I placed a
variety of combustibles around the cottage; and, after having
destroyed every vestige of cultivation in the garden, I waited
with forced impatience until the moon had sunk to commence my
operations.
"As the night advanced, a fierce wind arose from the woods, and
quickly dispersed the clouds that had loitered in the heavens:
the blast tore along like a mighty avalanche, and produced a
kind of insanity in my spirits that burst all bounds of reason
and reflection. I lighted the dry branch of a tree, and danced
with fury around the devoted cottage, my eyes still fixed on
the western horizon, the edge of which the moon nearly touched.
A part of its orb was at length hid, and I waved my brand; it
sunk, and, with a loud scream, I fired the straw, and heath,
and bushes, which I had collected. The wind fanned the fire,
and the cottage was quickly enveloped by the flames, which
clung to it, and licked it with their forked and destroying tongues.
"As soon as I was convinced that no assistance could save any
part of the habitation, I quitted the scene and sought for
refuge in the woods.
"And now, with the world before me, whither should I bend my
steps? I resolved to fly far from the scene of my misfortunes;
but to me, hated and despised, every country must be equally
horrible. At length the thought of you crossed my mind.
I learned from your papers that you were my father, my creator;
and to whom could I apply with more fitness than to him who had
given me life? Among the lessons that Felix had bestowed upon
Safie, geography had not been omitted. I had learned from
these the relative situations of the different countries of
the earth. You had mentioned Geneva as the name of your native
town; and towards this place I resolved to proceed.
"But how was I to direct myself? I knew that I must travel in
a south westerly direction to reach my destination; but the sun
was my only guide. I did not know the names of the towns that
I was to pass through, nor could I ask information from a
single human being; but I did not despair. From you only could
I hope for succour, although towards you I felt no sentiment
but that of hatred. Unfeeling, heartless creator! you had
endowed me with perceptions and passions, and then cast me
abroad an object for the scorn and horror of mankind. But on
you only had I any claim for pity and redress, and from you I
determined to seek that justice which I vainly attempted to
gain from any other being that wore the human form.
"My travels were long, and the sufferings I endured intense.
It was late in autumn when I quitted the district where I had
so long resided. I travelled only at night, fearful of
encountering the visage of a human being. Nature decayed
around me, and the sun became heatless; rain and snow poured
around me; mighty rivers were frozen; the surface of the earth
was hard, and chill, and bare, and I found no shelter. Oh, earth!
how often did I imprecate curses on the cause of my being!
The mildness of my nature had fled, and all within me was
turned to gall and bitterness. The nearer I approached to
your habitation, the more deeply did I feel the spirit of
revenge enkindled in my heart. Snow fell, and the waters were
hardened; but I rested not. A few incidents now and then
directed me, and I possessed a map of the country; but I often
wandered wide from my path. The agony of my feelings allowed
me no respite: no incident occurred from which my rage and
misery could not extract its food; but a circumstance that
happened when I arrived on the confines of Switzerland, when
the sun had recovered its warmth, and the earth again began to
look green, confirmed in an especial manner the bitterness and
horror of my feelings.
"I generally rested during the day, and travelled only when I
was secured by night from the view of man. One morning,
however, finding that my path lay through a deep wood, I
ventured to continue my journey after the sun had risen; the
day, which was one of the first of spring, cheered even me by
the loveliness of its sunshine and the balminess of the air.
I felt emotions of gentleness and pleasure, that had long
appeared dead, revive within me. Half surprised by the novelty
of these sensations, I allowed myself to be borne away by them;
and, forgetting my solitude and deformity, dared to be happy.
Soft tears again bedewed my cheeks, and I even raised my humid
eyes with thankfulness towards the blessed sun which bestowed
such joy upon me.
"I continued to wind among the paths of the wood, until I came
to its boundary, which was skirted by a deep and rapid river,
into which many of the trees bent their branches, now budding
with the fresh spring. Here I paused, not exactly knowing what
path to pursue, when I heard the sound of voices that induced
me to conceal myself under the shade of a cypress. I was
scarcely hid, when a young girl came running towards the spot
where I was concealed, laughing, as if she ran from some one
in sport. She continued her course along the precipitous sides
of the river, when suddenly her foot slipt, and she fell into the
rapid stream. I rushed from my hiding place; and, with extreme
labour from the force of the current, saved her, and dragged
her to shore. She was senseless; and I endeavoured by every
means in my power to restore animation, when I was suddenly
interrupted by the approach of a rustic, who was probably the
person from whom she had playfully fled. On seeing me, he
darted towards me, and tearing the girl from my arms, hastened
towards the deeper parts of the wood. I followed speedily, I
hardly knew why; but when the man saw me draw near, he aimed
a gun, which he carried, at my body, and fired. I sunk to the
ground, and my injurer, with increased swiftness, escaped into
the wood.
"This was then the reward of my benevolence! I had saved a
human being from destruction, and, as a recompense, I now
writhed under the miserable pain of a wound, which shattered
the flesh and bone. The feelings of kindness and gentleness
which I had entertained but a few moments before gave place to
hellish rage and gnashing of teeth. Inflamed by pain, I vowed
eternal hatred and vengeance to all mankind. But the agony of
my wound overcame me; my pulses paused, and I fainted.
"For some weeks I led a miserable life in the woods,
endeavouring to cure the wound which I had received. The ball
had entered my shoulder, and I knew not whether it had remained
there or passed through; at any rate I had no means of
extracting it. My sufferings were augmented also by the
oppressive sense of the injustice and ingratitude of their
infliction. My daily vows rose for revenge--a deep and deadly
revenge, such as would alone compensate for the outrages and
anguish I had endured.
"After some weeks my wound healed, and I continued my journey.
The labours I endured were no longer to be alleviated by the
bright sun or gentle breezes of spring; all joy was but a
mockery, which insulted my desolate state, and made me feel
more painfully that I was not made for the enjoyment of pleasure.
"But my toils now drew near a close; and in two months from
this time I reached the environs of Geneva.
"It was evening when I arrived, and I retired to a hiding-place
among the fields that surround it, to meditate in what manner
I should apply to you. I was oppressed by fatigue and hunger,
and far too unhappy to enjoy the gentle breezes of evening, or
the prospect of the sun setting behind the stupendous mountains
of Jura.
"At this time a slight sleep relieved me from the pain of
reflection, which was disturbed by the approach of a beautiful
child, who came running into the recess I had chosen, with all
the sportiveness of infancy. Suddenly, as I gazed on him, an
idea seized me, that this little creature was unprejudiced, and
had lived too short a time to have imbibed a horror of deformity.
If, therefore, I could seize him, and educate him as my companion
and friend, I should not be so desolate in this peopled earth.
"Urged by this impulse, I seized on the boy as he passed and
drew him towards me. As soon as he beheld my form, he placed
his hands before his eyes and uttered a shrill scream: I drew
his hand forcibly from his face, and said, `Child, what is the
meaning of this? I do not intend to hurt you; listen to me.'
"He struggled violently. `Let me go,' he cried; `monster! ugly
wretch! you wish to eat me, and tear me to pieces--You are an
ogre--Let me go, or I will tell my papa.'
"`Boy, you will never see your father again; you must come with me.'
"`Hideous monster! let me go. My papa is a Syndic--he is M.
Frankenstein--he will punish you. You dare not keep me.'
"`Frankenstein! you belong then to my enemy--to him towards
whom I have sworn eternal revenge; you shall be my first victim.'
"The child still struggled, and loaded me with epithets which
carried despair to my heart; I grasped his throat to silence
him, and in a moment he lay dead at my feet.
"I gazed on my victim, and my heart swelled with exultation and
hellish triumph: clapping my hands, I exclaimed, `I, too, can
create desolation; my enemy is not invulnerable; this death
will carry despair to him, and a thousand other miseries shall
torment and destroy him.'
"As I fixed my eyes on the child, I saw something glittering on
his breast. I took it; it was a portrait of a most lovely woman.
In spite of my malignity, it softened and attracted me. For a
few moments I gazed with delight on her dark eyes, fringed
by deep lashes, and her lovely lips; but presently my rage
returned: I remembered that I was for ever deprived of the
delights that such beautiful creatures could bestow; and that
she whose resemblance I contemplated would, in regarding me,
have changed that air of divine benignity to one expressive of
disgust and affright.
"Can you wonder that such thoughts transported me with rage?
I only wonder that at that moment, instead of venting my
sensations in exclamations and agony, I did not rush among
mankind and perish in the attempt to destroy them.
"While I was overcome by these feelings, I left the spot
where I had committed the murder, and seeking a more secluded
hiding-place, I entered a barn which had appeared to me to
be empty. A woman was sleeping on some straw; she was young:
not indeed so beautiful as her whose portrait I held; but of an
agreeable aspect, and blooming in the loveliness of youth and
health. Here, I thought, is one of those whose joy-imparting
smiles are bestowed on all but me. And then I bent over her,
and whispered, `Awake, fairest, thy lover is near--he who
would give his life but to obtain one look of affection from
thine eyes: my beloved, awake!'
"The sleeper stirred; a thrill of terror ran through me.
Should she indeed awake, and see me, and curse me, and denounce
the murderer? Thus would she assuredly act, if her darkened
eyes opened and she beheld me. The thought was madness; it
stirred the fiend within me--not I, but she shall suffer: the
murder I have committed because I am for ever robbed of all
that she could give me, she shall atone. The crime had its
source in her: be hers the punishment! Thanks to the lessons of
Felix and the sanguinary laws of man, I had learned now to work
mischief. I bent over her, and placed the portrait securely in
one of the folds of her dress. She moved again, and I fled.
"For some days I haunted the spot where these scenes had taken
place; sometimes wishing to see you, sometimes resolved to quit
the world and its miseries for ever. At length I wandered
towards these mountains, and have ranged through their immense
recesses, consumed by a burning passion which you alone can
gratify. We may not part until you have promised to comply
with my requisition. I am alone, and miserable; man will not
associate with me; but one as deformed and horrible as myself
would not deny herself to me. My companion must be of the same
species, and have the same defects. This being you must create."
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