Halloween  Cat  Humor

. What is a witches favorite kind of pie?
A scary-berry pie!

. Why don't witches like to ride their brooms when they're angry?
They're afraid of flying off the handle!

. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body

. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit !

. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
Dayscare centers

. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.

. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
Benjamin Frankenstein

. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
Ice Scream

. What's a monster's favorite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet

. What do witches put on their hair?
Scare spray

. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?

. What's a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist

. How can you tell when you're in bed with Count Dracula?-
He has a big D on his pajamas.

. What's pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to Grandpa
Grandma monster

. Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
Because he was in need of a light snack.

. Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?-
Have you ever tried to iron a monster?

. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos

. Why couldn't Dracula's wife get to sleep?
Because of his coffin.

. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
They're good at keeping things under wraps.

. What kind of cereal do monsters eat?

. What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
A wash and wear wolf.

. What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
They boo-kle their seatbelts.

. What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
Count Duckula

. What do you call a person who puts poison in a person's corn 
A cereal killer

. Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
Because if they were small and round and smooth they'd be M&M's.

. Why wasn't there any food left after the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!

. How did the ghost patch his sheet?
With a pumpkin patch.

. What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
His other fang.

. What do the birds sing on Halloween?
Twick or Tweet

. What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?

. Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
It's good for the bones.

. What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?
White Pillowcases

. What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

. Why did the witches' team lose the baseball game?
Their bats flew away.

. What was the witches favorite subject in school?

. Why did the mummy call the doctor?
Because he was coffin.

. What does a vampire fear most?
Tooth decay

. Where did the vampire open his savings account?
At a blood bank

. What did the mad scientist eat on Halloween?
Frankenfurters with Ketchup

. Where do mummies go for a swim?
To the dead sea

. What is Transylvania?
Dracula's terror-tory

. Where does dracula water ski?
On Lake Erie

. What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A blood vessel

. What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-
lantern by it's circumference?
Pumpkin Pi

. Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
He didn't have the guts.

. What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A BOO-logna sandwich.

. How does the silly witch know what time it is?
. S
he looks at her witch-watch.

. What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
Don't spook until your spooken to.

. What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
An amoeboo!

. How do vampires get around on Halloween night?
By blood vessels.

.Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend!

. What happened to the guy who couldn't keep up payments to his
He was repossessed.

What do goblins and ghosts drink when they're hot and thirsty on Halloween?

What is a Mummie's favorite type of music?

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
  Because demons are a ghouls best friend! 

What's a monster's favorite bean?
A human bean.

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
  Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
  A sand-witch.

What do ghosts say when something is really neat?

Why did the ghost go into the bar?
For the Boos.

Why did the game warden arrest the ghost?
  He didn't have a haunting license. 

Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
  He had no body to dance with.

Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch?
  At the casketeria. 

What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog?
  He is mist. 

Where did the goblin throw the football?
  Over the ghoul line. 

Why is a ghost such a messy eater?
Because he is always a goblin. 

What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire?
A toasty ghosty. 

What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae?
Whipped scream

What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day?
Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.


What is a vampires favorite holiday?

What kind of makeup do ghosts wear?

Who was the most famous ghost detective?
  Sherlock Moans 

Who was the most famous witch detective?
Warlock Holmes 

Who was the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones 

Who was the most famous French skeleton?
Napoleon Bone-apart 

Which building does Dracula visit in New York?
  The Vampire State Building 

Where do most werewolves live?
  In Howly-wood, California

Where do most goblins live?
In North and South Scarolina. 

Where does a ghost refuel his porche?
  At a ghastly station. 

What do you call a little monsters parents?
  Mummy and Deady

What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon?

How do you scare a mummy?
  With a yummy dummy in a crash test crummy.

What do you get when you cross a vampire with the internet?
blood-thirsty hacker baby

What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a squash?
  A squashed pumpkin pie.

Why do ghosts shiver and moan?
It's drafty under that sheet.

What instrument do skeletons play?

. Why are there fences around cemetaries?
Because people are dying to get in.

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
  He had no guts.

Why do vampires scare people?
  They are bored to death!

How can you tell a vampire likes baseball?
Every night he turns into a bat. 

What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It's a pain in the neck.

How can you tell when a vampire has been in a bakery?
All the jelly has been sucked out of the jelly doughnuts.

What song does Dracula hate?
  "You Are My Sunshine" and "Sunshine on my Shoulders.

How does a girl vampire flirt?
She bats her eyes.

What's it called when a vampire has trouble with his house?
  A grave problem.

Why doesn't anybody like Dracula?
  He has a bat temper.

Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
He had a fang-ache.

Why are vampires like false teeth?
They all come out at night.

Who does Dracula get letters from?
His fang club.

Why did Dracula take cold medicine?
To stop his coffin.

Why does Dracula wear patent leather shoes?
  Sandals don't look good with his tuxedo.

How do you keep a monster from biting his nails?
Give him screws.

What can't you give the headless horseman?
A headache.

Why did the headless horseman go into business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.

What is a ghosts favorite sale?
A white sale.

What kind of tie does a ghost wear to a formal party?
A boo-tie.

What's a ghosts favorite desert?
Boo-berry pie.

Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.

When does a ghost have breakfast?
In the moaning.

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.

Where does a ghost go on vacation?

Where does a ghost go on Saturday night?
Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

What do they teach in witching school?

Why does a witch ride a broom?
Vacuum cleaners get stuck at the end of the cord.

What do you call a witch's garage?
A broom closet.

What do you call two witches living together?

Why don't mummies take vacations?
They're afraid they'll relax and unwind.

Why do ghosts always starch their sheets?
So they can scare you stiff !

How can you spot a vampire jockey?
They always win by a neck!

Why do werewolves make great golfers?
They often get a howl in one!

What performers do vampires enjoy the most at the circus?
The jugulars

What is a vampire's favorite breed of dog?

What is a vampire's favorite flavor of ice cream?

What is a vampire's favorite fruit?
Neck tarines

What is a vampire's favorite sport?
Casket Ball !!!

What is a monster's favorite type of necklace?
A choker!

Why did the skeleton learn to ride a horse?
He wanted to join the "Bony Express"!

What do you get if you cross a monster with an owl?
An animal that frightens people but doesn't give a hoot!

How do ghosts earn points in a football game?
They kick the ball between the ghoul posts!

For what crime are ghosts most often sent to jail?


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